hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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