I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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