there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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