Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
