You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
