apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
