Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
