sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize