you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
