glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
