this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
