halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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