what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
