Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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