You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
