my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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