you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize