We're facebook friends in real life
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize