Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
