Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
