Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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