i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
