how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
