So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
