Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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