Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize