That's intense
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The uberlube is also flammable
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
