How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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