At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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