But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
