Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
