You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
