Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
