I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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