So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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