i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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