But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize