Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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