We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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