found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize