just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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