Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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