if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
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