Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
operation harelip BJ is a go
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
