I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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