As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
