Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
