yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
