Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
