Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
