Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
