btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
