The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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