I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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