I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
