Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
