I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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