brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
