My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
