Kareoke will never be a sober sport
It's just like the Real World with babies
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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