i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
