You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
