I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize