We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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