Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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