I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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