are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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