Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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